Felt devastated yesterday after receiving the news that there is every possible chance (yet to be positively confirmed) that the tumor that is starting to rear it's ugly head is not in my liver but my lung (possible late onset secondary to the liver tumor).

I traveled home in a confused dream like state mixed with anger and above all fear.

I was scared that I would not have the strength and determination to see this latest set-back through to a successful conclusion in fact I felt as if a large dark hole had just opened up beneath my feet as was ready to swallow me up in despair.

I now have the task of informing my family both biological and forum of the news. This will be hard as my Sisters thoughts will go back to the death of our Mother and my Aunts thoughts will go the loss of her husband last year.

I have informed my boss and his boss about what is going on with the request that the location of the tumor be kept quiet at the moment as there is a self important b in our team who would be only too glad to profit from having a dig at me. None of the team have ever seen me really lose my temper but the way I am feeling this person (being very polite) is the most likely person to see a side of me which is both scary and very unpleasant.

I am quite good at hiding my emotions (years of practice) but at the moment I am having problems keeping them under control. Currently they are just below the surface and it would not take much for me to explode.

Once I have them under control I will be able to face my new challenge and fight it no matter how painful and uncomfortable that fight may be.

I will update this blog with my thoughts as and when I am able to put them into some sort of logical order.

Well here I am the day after my CT scan and appointment with Pramen my HCV nurse.

Hard to describe how I am feeling, I suppose there is an element of inevitability as my AFP readings are still rising.

Pramen and I sat down and discussed the different options open to me but any option to destroy the tumor will mean stopping treatment which is to say the least annoying. It is almost as if the virus is intelligent and knows when I am going to start the treatment to kill it so it triggers of something to stop or delay that treatment.

At least I do not have to go to work today or I may have bitten off someones head just to relieve the frustration.

Had a nice relaxing lunch break between appointments yesterday sat in Ruskin Park watching the ducks and the coots fighting. The coots had babies so were busy finding food and bits and pieces for there nests. I was surprised at the number of squirrels in the park and how cheeky they were. For a good quarter of an hour I had one sit on the park bench with me begging for a piece of my cheese baguette. I know they are just fluffy tailed rats but when you get up that close to them they have really cute faces.

Back to the Hospital Tuesday 19th for the results of the scan and to get the news on how they plan to treat the tumor.

Will update this page then.

NEWS FROM THE BATTLE FIELD

Attack in progress and minimum resistance encountered so far.......


Half way through my first week of treatment and apart from injection day and yesterday when I felt like crap most of the day all apparently going well.

Suffering from lack of sleep these past 3 days but with 14 days holiday in Sunny Eastbourne to look forward to I should be able to get this under some sort of control.

Had an interesting time in Sainsbury's this morning, I was half way round and I thought my legs were going to give up on me. I can assure you a shopping trolley a zimmer frame does not make. 52 years old and I looked and felt like someone 82 years of age. Still managed to get around and breakfast and a hot cup of what I think is supposed to be coffee later I felt a lot better.

I am overdue a haircut so tomorrow I will get my elder sister to use my clippers to cut off my hair to a setting of number 2 and see how I get along with that. My barber who understands the situation I am going through has already said that if my hair start to retreat to the floor he will shave it all off for me and give me two (shaves!!) after that at half price (He is a good lad!!). Have had my usual Saturday afternoon snooze so have managed to clear my head to update my Blog.

Next report will be at the end of next week unless there is something of interest to report.

Have finally started my treatment after one slight hiccup.

Had my first injection and was a little shaky last night but managed to get a pretty good nights sleep and although I could have possibly returned to work this morning I decided to take another day of rest to make sure I can see the last of the sides off.

It was not all good news yesterday as my AFP readings have started to rise steadily into the "lets be concerned" area and the last CT scan I had showed a 2cm lesion in segment 8 of my liver. Because of this the continuation of my treatment is in doubt.

Have received a phone call in the last hour from the CT dept of Kings College Hospital (KCH) and they have arranged to bring my July appointment forward to next Monday (11th June) at 10:30 which is the same day as my appointment with the nurse at 15:00 and where I will badger him for the viral count from the blood test I had yesterday. Unfortunately the results from the scan will not be available for the appointment in the afternoon unlike the Ultrasound. At least this will not affect my work as I am on two weeks holiday starting this Friday.

I will need to find somewhere comfy to sit down for a couple of hours between appointments but it may give me the incentive to have a little walk around the area as I normally only walk from the train station to the hospital and back again and if the weather is nice there is a park near by that I may be able to hang around in without getting arrested.

Unless my thoughts become that black that I need to write them down I will update this BLOG next Tuesday.

Thursday 27th April 2007.

Well at long last I have what I have been waiting for, a start date for my treatment.

4.00pm on Monday the 14th of May 2007 is when I take my first injection of interferon and collect my Ribavirin. It will be well worth the journey from Eastbourne to Kings College Hospital just to know that I will at long last be starting the battle against this nasty, sneaky little virus that could due to Government indifference kill so many people.

The frustration and depression I have been feeling since last September after I was given the all clear from the tumours I had has finally lifted.

I will keep this BLOG up to date as my treatment progresses as a way to keep tabs on how I feel as I battle on determined to win the war against this virus.

March 2007

Well here I am yet again waiting for the NHS to pull it's finger out and get me onto anti-viral treatment.

Because of the Upper GI Bleed I had last September KCH (King's College Hospital) decided to go for safety and delay my TX (Treatment) until a second endoscopy was done by the DGH (Eastbourne District General Hospital). The original endoscopy was due to be done before last Xmas but due to the fact that I have to have my endoscopies done under a General Anaesthetic (GA) it was cancelled because the anaesthetist had not been booked. It has taken until now to reschedule the procedure.

Hopefully this will go smoothly and I will be allowed to start TX sometime in April/May that way I should have completed the course before Xmas this year.

This past 27th February saw the 4th anniversary of when my medical challenges started.

My name is Terry and I am a 51 year old male who has escaped any close relationships and as a consequence has ended up being the carer for my father.

I spend 15 very enjoyable years in the service of Her Majesty as a member of the Royal Air Force.

Somewhere in my dismal past I have managed to allow a nasty virus (Hepatitis C)to enter and attack my body and quietly, stealthly destroy it. At one stage the damage it had done tried to kill me but fortunatly for me I had a boss who realised that there was some thing wrong and it was more than just a stress related illness.

Since February 27th 2003 I have nearly died due to internal bleeding and have had treatment for Primary Liver Cancer (Hapatocellular Carcinoma or HCC) caused by the HEP C and Cirrhosis which stopped my first attempt at the anti-viral treatment and now that I have been given the all clear from the treatment of the HCC I can now start thinking about Killing the virus.